I have become a pretty clean eater and I also take a pretty intense exercise class 2 times a week. Lately, several people have commented that I lost weight. I let them know the scale hasn't moved. Then they say you have changed shape then. I then explain all my pants still fit the same. No saggy drawers here. I admit I would love to lose some weight and change my shape. I also admit there are many days I struggle with my inner bully that tells me I'm not small enough or that I look old and gross. I then have to catch myself and remember why I am doing it all in the first place and just simply say "Thank you" to the person.
And while I may fight this bully or want to change my shape, that truly is not my main goal. The reason I eat cleaner and exercise is for the health of it. I am not "dieting" as much as changing my diet. I want to be the healthiest I can be. I want to live a long time and be energetic as I age. I want to be happy!
I started learning more about my diet while going through IVF, cutting out caffeine and aspartame. Later during my pregnancy I learned a lot about glucose levels and healthier food options. Later I would learn even more about organic vegetables, eating locally grown and the wonders of probiotics. I would very slowly change one thing at a time.
Six years later my eating habits are much different and although I lost some weight in the beginning I have been holding steady for the last couple years. But what has changed to me is my health. I have a huge history of getting colds, sinus infections, swollen glands and headaches. I was sick pretty much every other month. My colds started decreasing in severity and length first. Then as time went on I suddenly realized it had been a year since I had been sick. Of course the moment I thought about that I got slammed with illness. But it's been another 5 month of no illness. For me this feels like a miracle. Something I couldn't have imagined happening for me before. Such a blessing I am grateful for. I feel absolutely amazing after my workouts and can do exercises I never imagined I could do.
I have also learned that I don't want to change my lifestyle or my eating habits out of fear. I don't want to feel fearful that if I eat this or that I might get sick. Stressing over that is not healthy. I don't want to change any of that out of hatred either. I don't want to change my body because I hate it or the way it looks. I have my days of struggle with this last one, trust me, but in my heart of hearts I really want to change for the health of it. I want to do it because I love my body and I want to support it as it supports me through life.
On the days I struggle and my inner bully runs rampant in my head I work on my affirmations for self love and guidance. I remind myself of how good it feels to be healthy and not worry about the other stuff.
So if you are looking to make some lifestyle changes make sure your decisions are not based from fear or self loathing. Make your decisions from love and wanting the best life for yourself and your body. Do it for the health of it!!