Monday was a significant day.  Not only was it my son's 6th birthday, which in itself is pretty great to me, but it was the day before our book proposals were due for the Hay House Writer's Workshop contest.  It was the day I sent my very first book proposal.

I attended a Writer's Workshop earlier this year with Hay House Publishing.  They are a leader in publishing self help books.  This workshop was a huge stepping stone for me on making my dreams reality.  I was very inspired and also very discouraged when I left the workshop.  They gave it to us straight on how hard it is to actually make it as a writer and what publishers expect.  I also learned how expensive it was to self publish a book.  But I wasn't going to let that stop me.  I was inspired more than I was discouraged.  The whole time the motivational speakers were talking I was hanging on the edge of my seat thinking is it my turn to tell my story yet?  I almost couldn't wait to get out of there so I could run home and start a website and a Facebook page.  I did exactly that!  As soon as I got home I wasted no time putting Ruud Awakenings together.  I wanted to do this.

One of the things they offer with the workshop is a contest for the attendees to send in their book proposals.  Only 3 winners will be chosen for a prize.  This contest is great because it gives new writers such as myself a chance in the industry.  You see, writers need to show publishers that they have an audience and although I have an audience it's no where near as big as a publisher would want to see.  They want to see followers in the tens of thousands. During this contest, it is the one time they will not be using your following to determine the outcome.  We get a fair shot with even just a few followers.  

It was also at this writer's conference that I got put more firmly on another dream of mine.  A dream of being a life coach.  Teaching people to love who they are.  I happened to sit down next to somebody already living that dream and she gave me the information to get me started.  I don't think I sat next to her on accident.

Anyhow, one of the things they gave to us straight at the workshop was that even though there were 500 people at the workshop only about 150 or less would probably actually submit a proposal into the contest.  That was a mouth dropping moment for a lot of people.  I am sure many made the same vow I did at that very moment.  I will be one of the 150.  I will not be the person who doesn't do it.  I made a promise to myself to not let me down.

I almost did though.  Many times over and over.  I almost let myself down.  I got busy and I got doubtful.  I already work two jobs, I'm a mom and in addition to all that I have to run this page.  I will also be starting life coaching classes next week!  When was I going to find the quiet time I needed to write.  I couldn't do it late at night, I needed to sleep.  My doubt fairy was also making visits to me.  Why bother? Who am I to think anyone wants to hear my story?  There are better stories out there.  I'm not an educated writer.  I never wrote anything before now.

Well somehow, someway, I squashed that doubt (even if just for a little while) and I found the time.  One night I actually almost fell asleep sitting up typing.  Anybody who knows me well enough knows that is something I never do.  I do not fall asleep sitting up.  I felt rushed and didn't know what I was doing.  I stressed over what they would want to see and what words sounded good.  Then I realized all I had to do was be myself.  I had to write in the format I knew and that was rushed and unplanned.  I write in the moment and on the fly.  I might have typos and stray thoughts but it's me and how I work.  So stopped thinking and just wrote.  

I submitted that book proposal and did not let myself down.  That doubt fairy was with me all day giving me an upset stomach but I knew I had to do it for me and I did.  I submitted the proposal on my son's birthday.  A very important date on my journey.  It couldn't be any more perfect than that.

Now I let it go and see what happens.  I don't want to worry and stress over what is happening over at the publishing company.  It's out of my hands now and all I can do is keep on going about my life.  I don't know what could happen or if anything even will happen.  It could be a moment that changes my life completely or just another stepping stone towards where I am meant to be.  I just have to trust in life.  I am proud of myself.  Proud that I have the courage to walk this unknown path following an unknown future and trusting that it will lead me to on an awesome journey and maybe, just maybe to making my dreams come true.